Love

Nine ways to get back at your ex

2008-11-16T01:28:00.001-08:00

Nine ways to get back at your ex

No more moping. No more Kleenex-carpeted bedrooms.We are not saying you should maim your ex a la Bobbitt, but you can definitely rename your dog after him. For those who’ve been dumped, cheated on, played around with or not got the lovin’ you deserved, it’s time to even the score. Here are some psycho-woman-crazy but totally doable-to-mend-your-bleedin’-heart ways to get back at your ex.

1. Welcome to hell’s social network
Don’t you just love the Internet? Try blogging, it’s the perfect way to vent and divulge secrets. Like the way he always had to remove every piece of clothing on him before he went to the loo (public or private) for a long job! Or how “Little General” is what he affectionately calls his you-knowwhat, and rightly so, as little it was indeed! Not only will you increase traffic on your blog, you’ll kill his social life too. Say bye bye to Mr Popular!

2. Hello, I is very hot …
This is the ultimate payback in my opinion. Ever noticed those phone numbers scribbled across train compartment walls saying ‘For call boy, please call 9800000000”? Well, revenge is a black marker, his number and a wall in the men’s compartment.
I bet you his cell phone won’t stop ringing. Ahh… nothing like sexual advances from men to piss him off.

3. Now hear this!
Pay the neighbourhood urchins to plant rumour fliers — on trees, softboards, car windshields, wherever — that have the boy’s most drunken picture and lines like “I like wearing women’s underwear. Can you spare a G-string?” or “I have something to confess, I have only one testicle. And date only men. So call me sometime. Please?”

4. Party pooper
I know someone who has actually tried it, and it has worked like a charm. Slip a laxative (or two) in the ex’s drink.There’s nothing more emotionally purging than watching him have a ‘Dumb And Dumber’ moment. Something about the unbearable gripes, that’s
rather charming and satisfying to a woman.Try it!

5. Spring cleaning
Time to de-junk yourself of the ex. Pack everything — mushy and naughty love letters, gifts, lingerie, x-rated videos, everything that reminds you of him — and mail it to the people responsible for bringing him into this world. Don’t forget to add a note saying,“Here are your things. I have no space to hide them any more. Keep your dirty laundry in your own home.” Don’t feel bad now… His parents have to remove those rose-tinted glasses someday!

6. We’re soul sisters, baby!
He’s already waltzed into another relationship? Get super close to his new woman. Make her love and want you as her best friend. This will really get his chaddis in a tangle,worrying about what you are divulging. What you choose to share (“He farts a lot during sex”) or withhold is up to you, of course. However, I do believe sharing is caring, don’t you?

7. Laughter club
Pull up your socks, or skirt, whatever works, dry those eyes and bring out the gossip queen in you. Pick out the key players in your social circle (ie the goss royalty) and casually whisper little funny things about your ex. Let him deal with giggly girls and guffawing guys because everyone now knows about his penchant for animal print undies and his squeaky Tarzan yell...

8. He’s birthday suit ugly
You’re all too familiar with your ex’s routine. Since you know his gym/sports dates at the local club, stop by and be nice… Do his laundry.Tip the boy’s locker room peon if you don’t want to venture in.Then simply use the best washing machine at the gym — the pool. Now sprawl on a deck chair and wait for the screaming naked dude. Ah, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Clichéd, but oh so true.

9. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Crash, Trash, Boom
If your ex has a hot, expensive ride that he treats better than his babe, take some thick butter chicken and spill it on the back seat. It’s a wonderful release for your rage. Just make sure no one sees you. But do make sure you photograph his reaction. His boo-bloody-hooing will make a fine keepsake!

NOTE: Vengeance is not for the faint hearted.Also, the brave souls who are at this very moment contemplating one or more of the above, should especially note that when you actually get over the man, you will feel like a massive idiot for doing these things.That said, go ahead and have a giggle fest with your gal pals, thinking up of rude things to do

Girly jargon decoded

2008-11-16T01:27:00.002-08:00

Girly jargon decoded

All you men out there seem to know exactly what women mean when we make statements like “Not tonight honey, I have a headache” or “fine” or “nothing”. But like it or not, we women still have a few mysteries tucked up our sleeves. Yes, it sucks, doesn’t it? But seeing as how it’s Prevention Of Animal Cruelty week (a meaningless coincidence, of course), we women have decided to take pity on you and expand your understanding of women’s vocabulary some more!

Mascara: Just to set the record right, mascara is not black lipstick! It’s a cosmetic that helps a woman to lengthen and darken her eyelashes, just to bat them at you better. So stop worrying – your girl hasn’t gone all Goth on you!

Retail Therapy: Run! These words are going to cost you dearly if you stick around long enough to hear them being uttered. Because, dear man, retail therapy is another term for shopping! Hand over your credit card, NOW!!

Fuchsia: Stop drooling when your better half tells you she’s going to wear fuchsia – it doesn’t mean she’s going to dress in strategically placed flowers for your benefit! Fuchsia is a hot shade of pink, but it isn’t pink. Just as lilac is a hue of purple, while purple is er… purple!

Manliness: When a woman lets you know you look manly, this is what she means – “Shower. Shave. And use some cologne, for God’s sake!” In short, manliness does not mean you look oh-so-handsome and manly. No no, the word for that is ‘hunki-ness’. Yup, we’re entitled to make up words once in a while…

PMS: Oh… if you don’t know this one, you’re in for trouble! Remember how once each month your girl shoots daggers at you (er… figuratively but sometimes literally as well!) and looks like she’s going to kill you if you so much as wear the wrong shade of blue? Yeah, that means she’s PMSing – Pre-Menstrual Stressing. Fear for your life at that time of the month…

Rock: Think above basalt. Granite. Shale. Like maybe in terms of diamonds. Emeralds. Rubies. Sapphires. Because when a woman says rocks, she means the exotic variety whose sparkle she can admire on her hand/ neck. Unless she says something along the lines of, “You have rocks in your head.” You probably had the right picture then…

Communication: Not like in the latest cell phone technology! We want you men to open up to us and talk about your problems or at least, to have a conversation that revolves around more than just food, sex, sports, and various body orifices.

Sarcasm: Still didn’t get the meaning? Never mind, then!

Kiss and Make up!

2008-11-16T01:27:00.001-08:00

Kiss and Make up!

It’s been 12 hours since you last fought, but alas, he isn’t coming back to make it all up to you. Because surprise surprise, by some default of Mars and Venus and all that, it’s your fault! But fret not, my pretties, we tell you fun ways to patch up with that special someone after a nasty fight.

1) Make a special photo album/ scrapbook of all the good times you’ve had together. Not only will the memories of better times help you calm down, he’ll be incredibly touched that you actually preserved all the little knick-knacks concerning you two as a couple. Alternatively, you can get digital printouts of all your pictures and make a patchwork quilt of it. Trust me, it’ll serve you well for that ahem… after make up session!

2) Bake him his favourite cake and ice your apology on top of it.

3) Stick little notes on the bathroom mirror, his closet, the fridge etc. telling him just how much you love him and how sorry you are.

4) Pull out all the paints and glitter stashed away somewhere in your closet and make him a card that spells out exactly how sorry you are. Doing something constructive after a fight will make you feel good and the expression on his face when you give it to him will make you feel even better!

5) Send him flowers at work – men like receiving them too! Striped carnations and purple hyacinths work best – they stand for ‘sorry’ in flower symbology.

6) Call up your local radio station and dedicate a song to him and let him know how much you love him and miss him.

7) Get your hands on a snow-white dove and an olive branch and present it to him. If that doesn’t let him know you’re sorry, I don’t know what will!

8) Pack him his favourite lunch for work and put in a little note telling him you’re sorry.

9) Leave a trail of rose petals over your apartment that leads to a big message that lets him know how sorry you are. Better yet, turn down the lights, dress up in a hot little number and show him exactly how much you love him, if you know what I mean!

10) Go over your first date again. Take him to the restaurant where you’ll had your first meal, the club where you shared your first dance, the movie theatre where you shared your first kiss etc. and tell him again why you love him so much.

11) Choreograph a silly dance to your special song and you’ll have him laughing in no time at all!

12) And if nothing else works, rent a helicopter and fly a banner with the words “I’m sorry!” over his office!

Share how you say you're sorry with us. Leave a comment below!

How to give a sensual massage

2008-11-16T01:25:00.000-08:00

How to give a sensual massage

A hard day’s work calls for some TLC. And what better way to show you care than with a massage? Get those moves right and loosen up a lot more than those tense muscles...

It goes without saying that giving your partner a massage is as intimate as it gets. In fact, as Bhavna Vohra, CEO, My Foot Reflexology, explains, her Mumbaibased relaxation lounge sees a lot of couples coming in together to get massages at the same time. It’s all about connecting in a cosy, intimate environment.

Start slow and steady
You don’t want to start straight off by pounding those muscles.And no, we don’t mean to be kinky. Start easy. Allow your partner to get familiar with the hand movements. “The process of the massage is meant to invoke the right energy flow,” says Bhavna. So ensure that your partner’s back is straight. Dr Bhagyashree Ingale, of Taj Spa, cautions against applying pressure directly on the spine. Her advice is to work along it. Then slowly work your way towards the outer end, ie towards the waist.

Your strokes need to be firm, deep and continuous.Avoid quick, sudden movements. Keep a steady continuous flow and let one stroke lead to another. Massage his muscles, not his skin.

The right strokes
After the warm up, you can gradually increase the pressure of your hand movements.Work on large muscle groups using firm, even pressure. Concentrate on the neck, back, shoulders and legs. Apply even pressure along the neck and entire spine, working outwards and from up to down.The arch of the back — where it curves towards the buttocks — is a good aaah spot. Make him siiigh when you touch the back of his thighs, calves and shoulder blades. If he works on the computer all day long, pay extra attention to his upper arms, forearm and fingers.

Dr. Ingale stresses on the importance of being careful while massaging sensitive areas like the neck. .“Since it’s a delicate area, we gently use fingertips for simple strokes. Concentrate more on the shoulder joints as it is very relaxing.” Bhavna elaborates,“There are pressure points all over the body which are connected to the different organs,” elaborates Bhavna. “For example, the foot has specific pressure points for the temple, digestive organs and eyes. Sometimes when you apply pressure at the right point there could be pain, which could be a good thing as you are releasing the pressure and sending
positive energy. However, stop if it’s a sharp pain. The mark of a good massage is consistency in the moves.”

Cooling down
Towards the end of the massage, you will need to slow down again. Gradually decrease the pressure on the strokes. Then wipe his entire body down with a soft towel to
remove traces of oil. And don’t blame him if he’s half unconscious and isn’t in the
mood to grab you with both arms... Those are the signs of a job well done!

Mood for thought
Getting the ambience right is half the battle won. Here’s how you can get set.

Lighting
Ah! Lighting is key. No one wants to wear their birthday suit under the scanner. So fluorescent tubelights are out. The dimmer the lights, the better the ambience. Place candles strategically in the room or decorate with flowers.

Fragrance
Take your pick of perfumed oils, scented candles and incense sticks. Certain oils such as rose and jasmine are known to have aphrodisiacal qualities. Do not use petroleum jelly or other lubricants that are not easily absorbed by the skin. But don't use hand lotions either — they get absorbed almost immediately.

Music
What’s a romantic scene without a background score? Some soft music should do the trick. Burn a CD of his favourite ballads and put it on repeat.

Exercise caution
● Make sure your partner has the correct posture. The back should be straight.
● Don’t massage directly on the spine. Always work along the spine.
● Never end a massage abruptly. End gradually, just like you started.
● Don’t try experimenting with a massage if your partner has back or neck
problems. You risk aggravating them.

A grand brand new year!

2008-11-16T01:23:00.000-08:00

A grand brand new year!

New Year’s Eve is just around the corner, and if you’re anything like us mortals, you’re frantically planning something grand to do to bring 2008 in. But sweaty, snooty and over-crowded parties are… *yawns* so passé. So what’s left to do? Why, celebrate the New Year in style with your date, of course!

We tell you ten fun ‘n’ funky ways to bring the New Year in with that special someone. Some are do-able and some are plain stupid, but try anyone of them and we guarantee you a fun time!

1) Book in advance to go skydiving or bungee diving on New Year’s Eve – it’s loads of fun and the adrenaline rush you’ll get from it is much better than anything even the strongest alcohol is capable of throwing at you! Not that we recommend throwing alcohol around – the bottles can be quite heavy, no?
2) Spend the New Year weekend in the shoes of the rich and famous. Book the honeymoon suite in a five-star hotel, go in for day-long couple spa treatments, treat yourselves to a bottle of champagne and some lobster bisque and then put that hotel bed to good use… *winks slyly* Put on a British accent and use a monocle for added effect.
3) Sneak into a country club and go for a dip in the pool when there’s no one around (mind you, no one mentioned skinny dipping!) And just so you know, the threat of being caught is an even bigger aphrodisiac than vanilla…
4) So you’re one of those people who can’t stand the concept of New Year’s. No problem – have an opposite day! You know everyone is going to be dressed in their best and heading out to all these fancy-schmancy shindigs and you’re having none of that. It’s simple then – dress up in your plainest clothes and walk around the city dropping cricket balls on people’s heads in the guise of being at the New York Square. Be sure to keep bail money handy, though…
5) Choose a secluded hill station and go camping – it’s really romantic bringing in the year sitting under the stars, and you’ll be getting away from the hustle and bustle of the city at the same time.
6) Go to Australia! Just so you can be the only one who can brag about bringing in 2008 in a bikini!
7) Spend the day cooking up different cuisines. Every time the clock strikes midnight at different times of the world, share a kiss and enjoy that country’s food (and alcohol!)
8) Sneak into your office and do it in your boss’ desk. You know you’re going to get pulled up for something or the other sooner or later; you might as well have good memories associated with your slave-driver’s cabin...
9) Help out the poor. Volunteer with an NGO to distribute food or clothing to the poor – how’s that for starting the year with a bang!
10) Get loads of fake snow delivered to your house, turn up the air-conditioning and have your own winter fiesta! Make snowmen, roast marshmallows over the stove, cook up some hot chocolate and keep each other warm in whichever way you like!

How to get a man

2008-11-16T01:22:00.000-08:00

How to get a man

We at Femina believe in our duties, and have hence formulated a patented foolproof plan on how to put yourself out there for Mr. Right to stumble upon. That’s right; we show you how to get a man. How to KEEP him though, is completely your problem. At least until we write an article about it…

Go that extra mile
Simply ‘gyming’ is so last season, it is growing poisonous moulds. Try power yoga/ pilates/ spinning/ kettle bells/ the new one that comes out by the time you read this article. These things have special instructors (and a select few participants) who are as yummy as they get, so if you know how to make a move without scandalizing them, life is smooth sailing. Try the usual ‘eye contact-hold-smile’ routine. Then make silly excuses like, “Ooh I can’t get this position right. Will you help me?” The gym is the breeding ground of sexual innuendoes, so you can go crazy without coming across as a perv. Mostly.

Kill the Wabbit
Become a party animal. Dress up and stand outside a popular night club, pretending to have come out for a smoke or something. Look out for the group of stag boys who will inevitably accost you and plead with you to enter the club with them so as to avoid paying the exorbitant stag rates. If you like them say, “Only if you buy me a drink once inside!” If you don’t, mumble something about waiting for friends. That way you get your pick of the lot and they’ll always approach you first. The flipside is that you can’t do it too often; your moral fibre is bound to tug at your heart one day or another. Also, people might think you’re a hooker!

Flex your toes
The quintessential dance class. This is where you’ll find young, exciting, enterprising men who are so comfortable with their masculinity they aren’t afraid of looking effeminate. That, or there is a closet involved there somewhere. Except, what do you do if all your twinkle-toed princes are actually frogs in spandex? Kiss them anyway! It’s a dance class, for heaven’s sake. No one is going to judge you for being experimental.

Learn to be adventurous
People might claim that there is no sure-shot way of landing a mate, but we beg to differ. There is one with a hundred-percent success rate and if you don’t believe us you can try it yourself and document the results. It is so good, that if a company could’ve bottled it and sold it under a fancy brand, they would’ve done it already. That golden key to the heart of a man is *cue drumroll* - having a lesbian fling. All you have to do is find a willing girl and do the deed, or pretend to, it doesn’t matter. Never really talk about it though, always allude to it and let his imagination fill up the blanks, if you know what I mean. It is guaranteed to make him woo you and if it makes you any happier, then the term ‘jackrabbits’ comes to mind while describing what comes after…

Heartbreaker

2008-11-16T01:19:00.000-08:00

Heartbreaker

He leers at anything remotely female. You deal with it. He ignores you when his friends are around. You still deal with it. But… *gasp*! Did he just hit on your best friend behind your back? You can’t deal with it! That man’s got to go, and we tell you how to do it without hurting him too much.

1) Food For Thought: Think about what you’re about to do. Sure, y’all have been getting along less and less over time, but is it something you can resolve between yourselves and have you reached the point of no return? Answer this question honestly and then think about breaking up – it’ll save you both a lot of heartache later on.

2) Quick Draw: Now that you’ve decided to break up, do it quickly. Don’t hem and haw over the matter and put off telling him till 2050 – it’ll only make him feel cheated and betrayed. Strike when the iron is hot – in the long run, he’ll thank you for it.

3) It’s Personal: Sure, breaking up over the phone or Internet is the simplest way to go, but hello? Would you like it if someone did that to you? ‘Course not! So do unto him as you’d want him to do onto you – fix up a face-to-face meeting at a relatively quiet place. Clear up your schedule for the day though; you never know how long these things take and it won’t do to suddenly flee for that hair appointment, will it?

4) Honest Goodbye: Be clear about the reasons you want to break up with him and remember, honesty is the key here. At the same time, don’t go about hurling accusations and meting out blame – it takes two to tango and that applies as much to the failure of a relationship as to the relationship itself. Never resort to cruelty to prove your point.

5) 20 Questions: Answer all his questions about the break up as honestly as possible, without skirting the issue. Sure, it might get tedious and you’ll end up repeating yourself, but hey, you’ve found your closure – let him have his, too.

6) Grateful Dead: While you’re ringing the death knell for your relationship, take a moment to think back about all the good times you’ve shared. Make it a point to tell him how much you appreciated your time together, and while it was fun while it lasted, it’s time to let go.

7) Don’t See Red: Chances are your guy, er… ex-guy will accept everything stoically and then go home and sob his eyes out. However, there’s also a good chance he’ll scream and shout and blame everything on you. Don’t lose your temper with him – put yourself in his shoes instead. You’d probably react similarly if someone dumped you, wouldn’t you? Let him stew for a bit and explain things to him when he’s calmed down.

8) Push And Pull: Just to assuage your own guilt, don’t try to be your ex’s best friend. Calling or messaging him, inviting him for coffee etc. might send out the wrong signals and will only make him feel worse. Let him decide the future of your relationship – sometimes a clean break is the best way to go.

9) Touch Me Not: All hunky dory till now, but what if your guy refuses to take no for an answer? “We can still work through this,” he whimpers pleadingly, clutching at your feet. Before his behaviour gets any more stalker-ish, firmly tell him you’ve made up your mind and walk away. Then promptly call up one of his friends and ask him/ her to help your ex move on. If the situation worsens and he still follows you around like a lost puppy, threaten him with the police – that nearly always works!

Ultimately, there’s no way to break up with someone without hurting his/her feelings. Try implementing these pointers though – it might make things easier… for both of you!

Second time lucky

2008-11-16T01:17:00.000-08:00

Second time lucky

Sometimes, a separation is not the end of a relationship; it’s just a tiny interval. Roshni Mitra talks to couples who resumed their real-life love stories... after the break

What does it take to bring a squabbling couple together again? If a West Bengal court is to be believed — a holiday to a picturesque beach resort. A case of truth being stranger than a soap opera? Maybe, but there is no denying that the couple was indeed back, having successfully dealt with the main reason for their separation — overpossessive in-laws!

Dr Siladitya Ray, chief consultant psychiatrist at Belle Vue Clinic and Ruby General Hospital, Kolkata, explains,“Often, in a breakup, couples tend to overlook the positive aspects of their relationship and concentrate on the primary issue — that the ego has been hurt — which assumes exaggerated proportions. When they separate and spend time on their own, they often figure that one out. Then there is inevitably a phase where they wonder what might have been.” This sets the stage for a reigniting of feelings — a sequel to the love story, perhaps!

“A new attempt at rekindling lost love might be far more exciting than a new relationship… And anything that prevents you from feeling like a miserable failure can only be great,” says Dr Ray, who is all for second chances.

Old wine in a new bottle? Here are couples who like it that way.

*Sameer, who handles an IT business, fell in love with *Ayesha, his client, and they got married. His work profile needed them to move from country to country, thus putting an end to Ayesha’s career. They had a daughter, but even she couldn’t keep their
marriage from turning sour, thanks to Sameer’s long hours and frequent tours. Embittered and lonely, Ayesha returned to Bangalore and set up a business consultancy firm.Though not officially divorced, she admits to having a no-strings attached fling in the interim.“It was then that I started feeling cheapened.I also recalled that with Sameer, I always felt satiated as a woman,”Ayesha narrates. Unsure as to how to break the ice, she decided on the direct approach. She insisted that Sameer come to India to visit their daughter. It was during this trip that Ayesha’s overtures were reciprocated.

IN RETROSPECT: Ayesha blames her impulsive nature for the break-up, fuelled by Sameer’s somewhat staid demeanour.“It hurt me that I had to drive the relationship. Even when I came back to India, Sameer didn’t say much; he just appeared miserable,” recalls Ayesha. It was when she was on her own and having an affair that she realised being dominant in a relationship wasn’t such a bad thing.“It has definitely helped that Sameer is now settled in his work and intends to return from Melbourne soon.We can now live as a family after years,” she says, admitting that Sameer is still bitter about the affair,
but has tried to understand the circumstances.

*Priya and *Rajiv met at a BPO in Mumbai where they worked together. Priya was an orphan and used to living life on her own terms, something that attracted Rajiv to her. Rajiv came from a conservative background, but that didn’t deter him from asking her
to move in with his family. His parents, initially courteous, started trying to control Priya’s freewheeling nature; they disliked the fact that she rode bikes and had many friends who were men. Despite these differences, Priya married Rajiv, but things took a turn for the worse. His family expected her to stay up late and serve food to her husband; they started referring to her loose morals and demanded that she give up her late hours.

Six months into the marriage, Priya moved out. Rajiv, who was unwilling to contemplate a life without her, spent four months arguing with his parents and fighting to get his lost love back. Priya relented, but with several clauses — that they live separately, pool in financially and hold an even footing in the relationship. Rajiv has done just that and we hope things work out for them.

IN RETROSPECT: A common cause of breakups in India is varying family backgrounds.“Many men start out as fencesitters, knowing they will have to go against either the wife or the parents if they don’t,” says Delhi based psychiatrist

Dr Patricia Uberoi. Rajiv did the same.Then sided with his parents till he realised what he had lost. Taking a stand earlier would have resulted in lesser trauma and less of a mindset change.“Both parties need to have a lot of determination and love for each other for the rekindling to work at all,” is Patricia’s firm belief.

High On Life!

2008-11-01T04:26:00.000-07:00

High On Life!

She should be called Carol ‘Fun’ Gracias, going by the way she lights up our photographer’s studio the moment she steps in, with her constant banter, leg-pulling, an uninhibited chuckle and most of all, her ability to have a good laugh at herself.
A Diva, carol is great fun to have around, Reshma Kulkarni discovers.

What does fun mean to you?
Well, anything that brings a smile to my face, lights my eyes up and warms the cockles of my heart is fun for me! I find catching up with friends a lot of fun, even reading a book or listening to music; it could be anything that simple.

Do you find your profession fun?
Yes, of course. I love to work and this profession is great for hardworking people. I especially find fun in the travel associated with modelling and meeting some of the people who make each day come alive in various ways.

With ‘Big Boss’, you became a household name. Was it fun being holed up with strangers for so long?
Yes, in a way it was. Of course, it was very difficult matching up to each one’s temperament and not forgetting that one had to ace the game. But the show taught me to find fun in simple things, which we tend to miss or ignore in daily life.

What were the most fun moments you took home from the show?
I used to get immensely amused by Rupali’s antics and actions, and thinking about those never fails to bring a twitch to my lips.

Have you had any funny incidents on the ramp?
Well, I am known to smile very rarely on the ramp and Achla (Sachdev) is one choreographer who keeps egging me to smile more often, which I let go unheeded. But recently, I did a show with Achla, for which I screwed up my fitting sessions. To make up for it, all through the show, I kept grinning like an idiot. So much so that at the end of it, Achla texted me saying, “Baby don’t overdo it now!”

Are you happy about being labelled a party animal?
Not at all! I’m party-hearty, yes, but that’s not the only thing I do. I hate it when people conveniently choose to ignore the other aspects of my personality and focus only on looking at me as a person who does nothing productive in life but goes out to have fun! They refuse to see that the fun is well deserved after a lot of hard work and I hate that.

How much time do you spend getting ready for each party?
Unless it’s a very formal party with a prescribed dress code (which I stick to thoroughly), my party gear consists of pretty much what I am wearing just now, which is a singlet or a tee) with snug-fit denims, combined with a sweep of mascara and a smear of lip balm. So, all in all, it takes me less than 15 minutes to doll up for a party.

Which is your favourite party destination?
Ooohh, that has to be Barcelona! It’s got everything to ensure that you have fun 24/7:The best eateries, pubs, discotheques, great shopping venues, superb architecture, mind-blowing beaches… For me, partying is not only about a couple of hours at night. I consider myself to have partied well if my entire day is fun-packed.

List some sure-fire party poopers.
People who keep whining about how the food is bad or the drinks are not to their taste or the music is boring. I simply abhor those kinds being around me at a party because they are complete killjoys. It’s a party, guys! Try to find the fun thing it has to offer rather than complain about what it doesn’t have. Also, gatecrashers, especially if they behave badly, are major put-offs.

Lola Kutty Unravelled

2008-11-01T04:24:00.000-07:00

Lola Kutty Unravelled

How did Lola Kutty come about?
Well, I went to meet the head of Channel [V] and was told,‘‘Hang out with us’’. So I said, ‘All right, I’ll hang’’. Initially, I was to be a creative researcher (some oxymoron, huh?). But I think Lola was born out of the angst of being surrounded by so many North Indians. And being told,‘‘Hey, you’re not South Indian; you’re not dark and you don’t have buck teeth.’’ Also, in Mumbai, all South Indians are ‘Madrasis’, never mind that there are four states down South. It’s also a lot more fun to be a character than to be a VJ in a miniskirt who says, ‘‘Yo!”. Lola is the antithesis of cool. She’s so not hip. We experimented on a look and got lucky.

You’re one of the few funny women in India. Which comedian inspires you?
I admire the genre of stand-up comedy the most. It’s the hardest to do. Every minute, part of your brain has to be wired for comedy. I like stand-up comedians like Russell Peters and Chris Rock. I don’t like established comedians like Robin Williams. They don’t appeal to my brand of humor.

What were you doing before Channel [V] happened?
I played Sarojini Naidu in the play,‘Sammy’ directed by Lillete Dubey. Theatre is my first love. I think it’s a beautiful place. I’ve done a lot of drama, when I was not playing Lola.

You’re now featuring in a show with five avatars— Simple Salma, Nightly Neeta, Loudly Lolita, Whetherly Hills and Healthy Helen. Isn’t Lola a hard act to follow?
See, Lola grew over time. It wasn’t a winner on the first show. It takes a while to find the right balance in a show. Now with these five avatars, I’m planning on inserting a clause in my contract that says if I turn schizophrenic, the channel has to foot my therapy bills. They haven’t got back to me on that one, though. But you know, it’s challenging and interesting to play them. It’s nice to wake up in the morning and go to a job you love. Never mind, if it’s for minimal pay!

Do you think men are funnier than women?
I have a theory. Women grow up thinking they have to be oh so glamorous all the time. Look at our films, a funny woman is someone called pinku or twinky. Who’s drinking cold coffee while playing the heroine’s fat sidekick. I think there’s a male sensibility and a female sensibility and it’s easier to accept toilet humour from a guy. Also, comedians have to be quirky looking. You can’t imagine Brad Pitt doing comedy. Not with his face! I think you need to have some serious issues in life to do comedy.

What’s it like working with Channel [V]?
I’m a creature of habit. I like working with the people there. It was my first job and I’m happy, despite the low pay scale. The only real problem is that my wigs constantly get stolen.

You’re what gets stolen?
My wigs. I don’t know where they go or what happens to them. But every day, it’s,’ Hello, I need a new wig!”

What’s the real Anuradha Menon like?
I love going to the theatre to watch movies and munch on mixed and caramel popcorn. I even make it a point to watch all Oscar-nominated movies before the event, so I can judge for myself if the right movie won. I don’t party, though. I don’t drink or smoke, so I don’t like to visit loud places where both happen.

Does it annoy you when people refer to you as Lola rather than Anuradha?
Not at all. There are a host of nicknames that I’ve gotten used to. In fact, once my mom scrolled down the list of contacts on her cell phone and went all the way to ‘L’ to call me before she realised ‘‘Oh wait, Lola’s not her real name.’’

Any funny proposals?
For some strange reason, short men love me. I don’t get it. I don’t like tiny men looking up my nostrils. And there was one guy who said he wanted to marry me despite the fact that I was Lola. Go figure. And there was this girl who tried to get me married off to her brother. Apparently, her colleagues made fun of her South Indian accent until Lola came along and made it cool. Her way of showing gratitude was to make me part of the family.

What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard?
Oh man! I did a play with this guy who insisted on calling me ‘Juicy’. Don’t
even ask me why. One day he said, “ Juicy, chal ek paan khate hai.”And I was thinking of all the lines I could’ve got, none would be worse than that.

Is there pressure to be funny all the time?
Yeah. But it feels nice. I hate it when journalists keep calling me for quotes, though. Here I am, coming out of the bathroom and I get weird calls for weird quotes. And no warning or anything. But I guess that's expected from any professional.Amitabh Bachchan is probably expected to be spectacular
in every film.

Quick, say something funny.
(Laughs out loud). Yeah, I hate it when people go,‘‘Oye, tell me a joke na.”

If Lola Kutty and Quick Gun Murugan got into a fight, who would win?
Lola, definitely. She’s got Alex on her side. Besides, she’s a woman. Nari hai to bhari hai!

What would your matrimonial ad read like?
NOT seeking boy for 5’ 6’’, healthy girl with sense of humour.

2008-10-26T02:29:00.001-07:00

We all know the saying, "All work and no play…" However, how often do you actually apply it to your relationship? This week, our love task will help you make strides towards changing this.

No matter what you're doing, if you don't take breaks to just getaway and get a fresh perspective, things are going to get tedious. This doesn't mean you actually need to "get away." It just means you both need to find something you can do to take a mental break from your daily lives. This is especially important when either of you are going through something stressful like a job change, new baby, in-laws visiting or even just the holidays. Taking time out just for fun establishes your relationship as the priority over all these outside factors.

To add some fun to your relationship, start by trying these ideas…

Plan a game night or some other fun activity you both enjoy doing such as a puzzle or even just window shopping. Make it a set weekly activity.
Keep a calendar of weekly or monthly events occuring in or near your area. Plan to attend at least one a month you both enjoy.
Research available classes in your area and once a month take one together. You can find some pretty interesting classes such as face painting, balloon making, and improv classes, if you look. The best thing about these types of classes is that they usually only require one night's attendance.
Arrange for your partner to go do something they enjoy the most; even it means they do it without you. Do they really feel refreshed after a guy's night out? Make sure they take one at least once a month to reconnect with their friends. Maybe they need a little shopping spree to feel better about things. If money's tight, you can still go to a dollar store, swap meet, thrift store or a garage sale.
Once a week leave a humorous card or note for your partner to find, especially if they are going through a difficult or stressful time. Or, send a funny eCard instead!

2008-10-26T02:27:00.000-07:00

Are you looking for true love? The search may seem eternal as one relationship starts and another ends and you find yourself wondering if true love even exists. There are so many types of people in this world with so many different interests, values and mannerisms. It is not easy to find that special, one person who you are meant to be with. You look and look and still you can’t find true love. Maybe you are not looking in the right places. Perhaps you should evaluate the method of your search to see if you are looking in the wrong places for the love of your life.
Often people try too hard to find the right person and in doing this they miss noticing whom the right person is, even when they are in front of them. Sometimes it is necessary to simply be yourself and go about your business. It seems that only when we stop looking, do we often find what we are looking for. There is something about being in a state of search, which tends to distract a person from what really is. By being yourself and by doing things that make you happy as an individual, you shine with a luring charisma, which attracts your true love to you without looking for them. This is a sort of effortless and magical experience when it happens to you.
So, suddenly while radiating in your own sense of self and sense of personal peace and happiness, you and your true love’s paths cross. Even at this moment, it may not be obvious right away that the love of your life is in your midst. After a short time some very interesting things start to happen in a natural yet powerful way. You find yourself lost in time and space while in the presence of your true love. It almost seems like you mutually are sharing in a dreamlike state of blissful peace that you have never known before, combined with a magnetic attraction to be together. When together, time disappears and days seem like moments, yet those moments are so enhanced with life and meaning. Still at this point, you may not see that true love has embraced you. All you know is that you want to be with this person and their company nurtures you in so many ways.
You both continue to share long conversations; hours go by like minutes as you soon discover that you are in the presence of your other half. The search is over and you finally realize that you have found true love. You fall in love with their mind first and this just enhances the good friendship that you have shared for so long. Finally your hands touch and you feel a passion and closeness deeper that can be expressed in words. In the silence, you know deep in your heart you have found your true love and it does exist but only for the right two people. The magic of true love is deeper than the ocean and has an undefined beginning and never ends.
Feel peace in knowing that if you have not yet found your true love that soon you should expect to, as there is someone out there for all of us. Just be yourself with all your heart, follow your personal passions and interests and your true love will suddenly appear in your life in a very beautiful way. Keep in mind that your true love may not be someone new, but rather someone who was there all along whose company suddenly touches your heart and soul in a way that nothing else has. True love is a blessing in which we are all meant to discover when the time and the person are right.

2008-10-26T02:25:00.000-07:00

Here comes the moment that somebody wants to be with you in a way you have always dreamed. But you should be very careful weather he/she is the right man/woman for you.
There are some things you should care about before saying "I Love You". Thus you will understand if you are very much different or suitable to each other.

You should understand weather you can talk to that person forever and that he/she is really listening to you. If you understand that it is not so, better stop now – remember that will never alter.
Do you really want to hear what he/she is talking to you? If you catch yourself that while he/she is talking you thing of something else, better stop here.
You should be sure that you really enjoy his/her company. If it is not so what are you really doing with him/her? You will not find what you look for because it is nit there.
If you wait him/her to make a sign that he/she will fulfil your dreams that are not real love. He/She is not the person to make your dreams real, you are. He/She can only be a part from these dreams.

These are just a few things you should know when you start a relationship and you want it to last long. There are many other, but these are the easiest to follow when you start a new relationship. And remember always to be honest. The universe will do the rest.

2008-10-26T02:24:00.002-07:00

Mature love - If a person has very high self-respect and great self-confidence, he/she is supposed to be in mature love. This is called mature love because it is expected that such persons know what they are doing? They know why they love a particular person and what they expect from the love.
In my opinion both these kids of love may fail equally badly or survive against all the odds, because while talking of love, we have to consider the partner also. I may be a very self respecting person and may have fallen in love after lot of deliberation. That does not matter to my partner who may react in different fashion as times passes. My success or failure does not depend only on me, but also my partner.
Love defies all analysis. Why two persons fall in attraction and become inseparable is a mystery. Very contrasting personalities may love each other for all the life and very similar partner may fall out of love in a short time. It is the very nature of love that makes it a subject of so much investigation.

2008-10-26T02:24:00.001-07:00

Relationship Secret Weapon

The Art of Silent Communication
It’s amazing how much we can tell about someone without even talking to him or her. Imagine if you were to watch one of those old black and white movies before they had sound, even without the sub-titles you knew what was going on. Non-verbal communication is an extremely strong and powerful way to communicate and if you can learn to pick up the signals then your communication and interpersonal skills in this area are going to be very valuable, not only with your romantic relationship but in all areas of your life.
Mastering Non-Verbal Chat
Flirtation techniques start with non-verbal communication and the whole flirting sequence can consist totally of non-verbal communication. You can let someone know that you’re interested in them by using certain moves and looks. If you put them in a sequence, it’s extremely powerful. It’s surprising the amount of chatting we can do without opening our mouth. Even a man from Mars will understand the subtleties of non-verbal chat.
First Impressions
First impressions count. These first thoughts when you meet someone are lasting and have a strong bearing on what they think of you. When you’re checking someone out, you quickly look them over and you say yea or nay in almost an instant. Often, we don’t get another chance to put our best foot forward as the first impression can mean so much. That’s why it’s important to make that extra effort when you know you’re going to meet someone who could end up being that special person in your life.
Develop Your Personal Style
Your personal presentation says a lot about who you are. What you wear is such a strong visual form of communication that it displays a message about who you are. Do you dress formally, casual, neat casual or business casual? Do you wear flat shows for comfort or high heels for fashion and style? Are you wearing the latest season colour, do you wear bright, sombre or earthy colours? What about your hairstyle, is it glamorous, neat, or businesslike? Is your make-up natural, non-existent or glamorised? All of these areas and signs will indicate the type of person you are. Make sure you’re projecting the image you want others to see. Have a good look at your self-image and make changes that show you for the person you are and want to be.
What Does Your Face Say
The expressions you use are a total give away as to how you’re feeling. Are you raising your eyebrows and questioning what someone is saying. Are you smiling indicating that you’re happy, or do you have a sad or angry look on your face? Or, do you have an inquisitive or inviting smile. What about your eyes, are they in a direct stare at someone and looking intense or glassed over indicting you’re deep in thought. Perhaps they are twinkling and have a magical character trait about them. There are many expressions, which will let others know how you are feeling, practice in front of the mirror and perfect them..
Tell Tale Body Signs
Body language is another area on non-verbal communication. Watch when you next meet someone for the first time and see what you can pick up. How are they standing? Do they have a straight confident or perhaps even defiant stand? Are they more easy-going and leaning next to a wall, or are they just casually comfortable. What about their hands and arms? Are they crossed or more open near their side. Is their head on the side or straight up? Do they look flexible or inflexible? Are their shoulders slumped over, which can mean that they are cold or perhaps self-conscious? What can you tell about the way they handle their body. There are lots of books written on body language but if you think about it and put it to the test you’ll be surprised at what you can pick up by just automatically knowing what it means.
Are You a Touchy Feely Person
Touchy feely people love to be touched and people that are more private prefer not to be touched. Which one are you or are you both? If you are a touchy tactile person, it’s important to be aware that not everyone feels like this and it can be an intrusion on their personal space. They can take offence to you touching them, even if it’s only a light touch on their arm. The other area to take into account is personal space. How far you stand from someone can be the difference of feeling comfortable or not. A good indication of this is watch if the person you are talking to is constantly moving back, then you edge forward and they move back again and before you know it, you have moved across the room. What’s happening here is you are invading their personal space, you are far too close to them and they don’t feel comfortable in your presence. Back off and it will be a far more pleasant interaction for both people.
More Than Words
You can see that there is a whole lot of communication going on without you even opening your mouth. In-fact when you meet someone they have already made an opinion of you before you’re introduced. This is a good reason to be more aware of what signals you are giving to others and to make sure you are giving the right signals, the ones you want to portray. Otherwise, you might be misunderstood and not even know it. Happy Communicating!

2008-10-26T00:21:00.001-07:00

Jaffna well stocked for Deepavali : Security forces ensure smooth food supply

Hindus all over the world celebrate “Deepavali” tomorrow. The festival marks the worship of light which in the spiritual sense implies the illumination of the mind. Pic: Kavindra Perera

Hundreds of sailors despite the inclement weather unloaded essential foodstuff that was sent for the Deepavali festival to the Jaffna peninsula by the merchant vessels, Nimalawa and Ruhuna which came under attack by the LTTE last week in the northern seas. Navy Commander Vice Admiral Wasantha Karannagoda personally supervised the unloading of essential food items by his men at the Myliddy harbour near Kankesanthurai in Jaffna yesterday.

Navy spokesman Commander D.K.P. Dassanayake told the Sunday Observer that the motive behind the LTTE's attack on the merchant vessels, Ruhuna and Nimalawa was to create a huge shortage of essential food items during the Deepavali festive season in the peninsula and to thwart the efforts of the Government to ensure the smooth supply of essential items to the north during the festive season."The navy not only thwarted the move of the LTTE but also ensured that the Jaffna civilians celebrate Deepavali without any hindrance. The attempts by the sea Tigers to overrun the two merchant vessels carrying foodstuff to the north were repulsed successfully by the Navy and the ships were escorted safely to the Myliddy harbour where the unloading of foodstuff was carried out by the sailors.

The merchant ship, Ruhuna carried 3,800 mt tonnes of essential items and the vessel, Nimalawa carried 2,350 mt tonnes of foodstuff," Commander Dassanayake said. Navy Chief Vice Admiral Wasantha Karannagoda who witnessed the unloading of the food items despite the bad weather conditions yesterday praised his men and said that the safety of the merchant vessels that carry essential food items to Jaffna would be ensured with the Navy intensifying its security measures in the north and east seas,Commander Dassanayake said.

Government Agent, Jaffna K. Ganesh said there was no shortage of food and other essential items in the peninsula during the Deepavali festive season.

Informed sources said that traders in Jaffna were furious over the LTTE's attack last week on the ships that carried the essential items to Jaffna and staged a hartal throughout the peninsula in protest against the atrocities of the LTTE. The Jaffna town area was packed with civilians for Deepavali shopping and security was also strengthened to prevent any untoward incident.

Meanwhile, the foodstuff sent by the Government to the Kilinochchi and Mullaitivu districts also reached safely and the Government Agents in the two districts confirmed that they have enough foodstuff GA, Vavuniya Mrs. Charles said.

News

2008-10-26T00:19:00.001-07:00

	Resignation Drama of DMK will fail and backfire says Economic Times By Walter Jayawardhana, Sinhalaya News Agency India’s influential Economic Times said that Tamil Nadu’s Chief Minister Muthuvel Karunanidhi’s resignation drama intended for utilizing New Delhi’s regional super power status to save the badly beleaguered , cornered and trapped Tamil... October 21st, 2008 - 22:46
Read More.....

News Stories
•	L.T.T.E. Against Indian Territorial Intergrity By Walter Jayawardhana, Sinhalaya News Agency New Delhi ’s ruling Congress party’s legislature head D.Sudarsanam said after an emergency meeting of the ruling party law makers that some pro-Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) elements in India have started separatist work against... October 23rd, 2008 - 09:50
•	LTTE should put down arms says Lord Naseby By Walter Jayawardhana, Sinhalaya News Agency Lord Naseby , senior member of the House of Lords said in London that the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) should immediately lay down arms and start negotiations with the government without causing further bloodshed. He made this... October 23rd, 2008 - 09:44
Read More.....

Sinhalaya Watch
•	(Dr) Mervyn’s Nominee for “All Island JP” Rapes a Girl Search continues for “Kudu Nuwan” 7th September 2008 Chandana S. Jayakody - Sinhalaya News Agency - Colombo, Sri Lanka Police has issued an island wide alert to arrest Nuwan Udaya Gunathilleke, alias “Kudu Nuwan” for raping a female karaoke assistant at Flower Road... September 07th, 2008 - 15:05
Read More.....

Security News
•	LTTE Commemorate a 10 minutes’ “Malathi Day”! Chandana S. Jayakody - Sinhalaya News Agency - Colombo, Sri Lanka 'Malathi Day' the commemoration of the first woman cadre of LTTE terrorist who died in battle front, was held on the 10th lasted only 10 minutes report Sinhalaya News Sources in Wanni. Tiger websites had reported that... October 14th, 2008 - 09:01

Habits of Healthy Families

2008-10-26T00:17:00.001-07:00

Habits of Healthy Families
Creating healthy family habits can be as simple as eating together regularly or as complex as practicing conflict negotiation skills. These 8 habits are effective, inexpensive and good for the world around you.

Healthy families focus on new goals and new options, according to Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families.Covey also believes that healthy families spend time together, build memories, create safety nets for its members, and meet each person’s physical, social, spiritual and economic needs.

Toss the Frisbee Around

Make it a habit to go hiking, practice yoga, or play Frisbee regularly – but don’t set it in stone. Armin Brott, author of Father for Life, says, “Family habits may be hard to establish, especially if you have teens. However, you don't have to spend a huge amount of time planning events. Simple activities are often the best. Conversations and connection will come naturally out of a low-stress, low-pressure situation.” For more parenting tips, check out Brott’s website, MrDad.com.

Pass the Peas, Please

The University of Minnesota’s Project EAT revealed that teens consume more fruit, veggies, and calcium—and drink less soda—during family meals. Researchers Dianne Neumark-Sztainer and Mary Story have linked family meals with higher academic performance, greater psychosocial well-being and a reduced risk of unhealthy weight loss behaviors. Another study from the same university revealed that girls who eat family meals in a positive environment are less likely to diet chronically, use weight loss pills, or struggle with eating disorders.

Grrr! Get Mad and Live Longer

One aspect of married life is conflict resolution—and most couples aren’t trained for this, according to Ernest Harburg, a professor at the University of Michigan’s School of Public Health. His research reveals that couples who suppress anger are twice as likely to face an earlier death than those who express it. Getting mad without hurting your loved ones is a family habit that can improve physical and emotional health. Harburg suggests that suppressed anger influences other morbid systems, including hypertension.

Pick Your Green Battles

Joining forces to positively affect the environment not only gives you a common goal as a family but is also good for the planet. Choose an eco-battle together, such as adopting a nearby park and doing a weekly “garbage march.” Or plant a garden at home or in the community, focusing on organic fruits and veggies. Learn how to compost, and lighten the load on landfills. Once one new behavior becomes a family habit, you can add another—and soon you’ll not only be more united as a family, you’ll be greener, too!

Volunteer Together

“Contributing as a family not only helps [others], but it also strengthens the contributing family in the process,” writes Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. “Can you imagine the bonding, the sense of fulfillment, the sense of shared joy?” Volunteer opportunities include helping out annually at a camp for disabled kids, serving monthly at a food bank, or walking dogs weekly at an animal shelter. To find volunteer opportunities in your city, do an online search for “volunteer [city].”

Seek the Hidden Treasure

A great family habit is experiencing new things such as juggling, geocaching for treasures, or making sushi. Psychology professor Leaf Van Boven from the University of Colorado explains why happiness is found in your life experiences (not your possessions). Experiences are open to positive interpretation, they become a meaningful part of your identity, and they contribute to successful relationships. When you experience something as a family—such as learning a new skill—you build memories that you can reminisce and laugh about later. Those experiences unite you and become part of who you are as a unit, not just as individuals.

Take a Time Out

Parenting specialist Brott schedules regular dates with each of his kids. This reassures them that he’s there for each of them, and it helps him keep in touch with their interests and lives. He says, “Once kids are in school and spending time with friends, parents are often surprised how little they know about their kids’ activities, tastes, interests, friends, political views, etc.” Brott also finds that it’s better to connect with teens on their terms rather than force them to participate in activities they don’t want to do.

End With Your Highs and Lows

Make it a point to discuss the ups and downs in your family and individual lives, and to look for the good in the bad. “During dinner we talk about what we enjoyed best and least that day,” says Tanya, a mother of three on Bowen Island, B.C. “It’s a great way for our kids to listen to each other’s stories and problems, understand that we all experience ups and downs, relate to each other, help find solutions, laugh together, and illustrate that life is like a rollercoaster.”

Bedroom Bliss for Better Sleep

2008-10-26T00:15:00.000-07:00

Bedroom Bliss for Better Sleep
Chances are you’ve heard this advice before: Save your bed and bedroom for sleep and lovemaking only. That way you avoid associating it with reading, TV, and other activities that can set the mind whirring. Here's how to make your bedroom conducive to snoozing.
Start With the Mattress
After all, we spend more time on it than on any other piece of furniture in our homes. Given all of the evidence that good sleep is an important determinant of good health, it makes sense that the right mattress might help you live a longer, happier, more productive life. Logical, yes. Unfortunately, a good mattress is the most overlooked sleep essential of all. One reason: There’s no scientific evidence showing a correlation between the quality of a mattress and the quality of sleep; the issue hasn’t really been studied. Still, through trial and error, experts have come up with plenty of tips that can help you select the best mattress. Following these suggestions should give you a better foundation for a good night’s sleep.

Don’t Think Too Hard
A too-firm mattress can’t preserve your spine’s alignment as you shift your position throughout the night. It lacks the give to cup your body at points like the neck and the curve in the lower back. On the other hand,
a mattress that’s too soft will let your spine sag and leave you with a backache. What you want in
a mattress is similar to what you want in a comfortable desk chair—something that gently supports your body and keeps your spine softly curved, as it is when you’re standing up straight. If you can’t find a happy medium, try placing a back board about a half-inch thick under your mattress.

Take the Palm Test
When you consider buying a new mattress, don’t just lie flat on it for a few seconds. Instead, try a variety of sleeping positions and test more than one mattress. When you find one you like, lie flat on top of it and slide your hand, palm down, between the small of your back and the mattress. If you can get the whole hand through and there’s still a gap, it’s too hard. And if, when you recline, the base of your spine is lower than your heels, it’s too soft.

Go With Your Gut
The ultimate test is personal preference. Be aware, though, that your first impression may not be enough to base your purchase on. It pays to ask about the store’s return policy. You want to be able to give a new mattress a trial at home. Also, check the warranty. Most premium mattresses come with a 10-year warranty.

Watch for wear. The average mattress lasts no more than 10 years before its springs stop supporting you properly. Don’t wait until the sags are as deep as potholes before replacing it.

Pillow Talk
Pillows are as important as mattresses for keeping your neck and spine in good alignment so you can sink into restful sleep. Without the right pillow, even the most comfortable mattress won’t deliver deep, divine slumber.

Which pillow is best?
The answer depends mainly on personal preference. Some people feel cozy when they sink into a big, fluffy pillow; others feel as if they’re smothering.Your pillow should be soft enough to conform to the contours of your head and neck, yet thick enough to support them in a neutral position with no upward or downward tilt. Sounds simple—but because of technological advances and fads, pillows today come in a far more diverse array than they used to. Down is soft, breathable, and the natural filling easily molds to your head and body. Contrary to popular belief, down does not aggravate allergies, but it is expensive. Synthetic down is hypoallergenic, man-made fiber is reputed to be just as comfortable as down, but it’s sold at about two-thirds the price.

Aishwarya:

2008-10-26T00:09:00.000-07:00

Aishwarya: I'm so proud to have a hubby like Abhishek

By Subhash K Jha

For Aishwarya Rai time management is not just an art, it's a necessity. She arrived recently after the world tour, then left for Peru via Dubai to shoot for Shankar's Robot.

"I'm looking working with Rajnikant Sir in Robot. He and my father-in-law are institutions. Luckily I've worked with both. And Peru is a place I've never shot in. Wish I had more time to enjoy the new happenings in my life, " sighed Aishwarya.

"But the sad part is I hardly got enough time to do the things that are really important to me, like spend with my parents, specially my father who's been very unwell. I barely came back from the Unforgettable concerts when I had to leave. That's the hard part of being who I am. The show always has to go on."

Aishwarya is deeply moved by the support and love offered to her and her family during this trying time of her father's illness. "I've always had very positive vibes coming from my audience and friends. But the calls messages and prayers for my father's health are something I'll never forget, " Aishwarya says emotionally.

Regretfully she had to leave Mumbai again right sfter her dad's latest chemotherapy. "I'd have liked to be with my parents more. But what to do? "

More on Mani's movie? "We start shooting his film in October. All I'll say at this point about Mani's film is, it's like nothing Abhishek or I have ever done. Guru was a different world."

About the just concluded world concerts Aishwarya brightens up discernibly. "What can I say? Personally and professionally it was greatly fulfilling. I've been on several concerts. This one was special for very obvious reasons. My parents-in-law and my husband were with me."

How different was it performing with them as compared with her earlier concerts when she performed alone? "Ah, that's a trick question. I'll tell you this much.

Each concert got better and better. Every city surprised us. It was the first world tour for Abhishek, so extra-special. He kept reminding me of how I kept urging him to do world tour even from before we came close.

I had completely forgotten that I had once sent a concert organizer to him for a proposed world tour. Abhishek was a rock star at these concerts. I felt very proud of him."